Groucho Marx Quotes

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A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

— Groucho Marx

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

— Groucho Marx

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

— Groucho Marx

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

— Groucho Marx

Look at me, I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

— Groucho Marx

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

— Groucho Marx

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

— Groucho Marx

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.

— Groucho Marx