A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
Look at me, I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.