A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
Always do whatever’s next.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Hooray for most things!
I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
Kilometres are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometres.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
Meow’ means ‘woof’ in cat.
No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?